How About A Hand For The Band

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On my last cruise we were asked to “give it up for the band” four times before the main act got on stage. It went this way:

Voice announces Cruise Director; CD walks on stage to band music.

“How about a hand for the band, Aren’t they great?”

Well, we aren’t sure how great they are, as we only heard about 20 notes, but, hey, why not? We all applaud.

CD intros male singer….He comes out singing his first song. Song finishes. Singer says, “How about a hand for this great band?”

We applaud, as singer turns and bows to band.

Several songs later, singer finishes act, says, “Give it up for the band!”

By this time I want to forgo the “it” and just give up, but there’s more to come.

CD comes on as applause for band dies out and says, “Let’s hear it one more time for this great band.”

This great band is getting more exercise standing and bowing, than I got earlier in the gym.

AND THEN — a magician is introduced; band plays walk-on music, and the magician says, (I know you know what’s coming)

“How about a hand for the band, Aren’t they great?”

That makes me disappear.

What I’ve discerned is most CD’s get no applause just walking on the stage. But, if a hand for the band is demanded by the preceding act. The CD gets to walk on to applause. At the end of the show, the CD tells everyone what is going on tomorrow throughout the ship. This information is always boring, and is actually in the staterooms in the form of a daily newspaper.

“Well now”, CD thinks, “how to get off the stage; can’t just say Goodnight, God bless, Bye for now, and silently slink off.”

“Oh”, thinks the CD, “I’ve got it.”

“How about a hand for the band?”

Although by this time some of the band is packing up, the audience applauds, and some even scream in approbation. Had I stayed, I would have screamed.

The amazing thing is that some of the bands hardly play at all. Oh, they blow and pound, but what is really making the music is a soundtrack recorded back on shore. It would be a challenge to pick out which of that blare is coming from the musicians in view. Some of the ships don’t even have a band in sight. Everything heard is recorded in a shore studio.

And someday we’ll hear this:

“How about a hand for that soundtrack?’

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